


Breakfast at Noon

by sunflowerwonder



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dave's a show off, Entirely Sexual Content, Established Relationship, Fingering, Fluff, Foursome, Jokes, Kissing, Lighthearted Sex, Mild Femdom, Multi, My prompt was for Beta Kids fucking, Oral Sex, Riding, Sexual Content, Swallowing, ambiguously post-sburb, hell yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 12:18:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerwonder/pseuds/sunflowerwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which John Egbert thinks sex is far more important than breakfast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breakfast at Noon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kapbird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kapbird/gifts).



> Happy Holidays, Kaprikorn! My name’s Natalie and I like stupidly happy, cliché porn, probably lame foursome dynamics, and people with rad taste in ships.

“Hey John,” a voice calls, and you feel the warm embrace of your comforter being unwelcomely tugged off of you.

“John, hey,” the voice says again. Through your hazy thoughts you recognize it but you’re too tired to do much but squirm and awkwardly grope for your covers. You end up with a palm full of Dave’s hair and you shove him away from you.

“’Wanna sleep,” you grumble. 

“Jesus Christ, Egbert. It’s almost noon. I understand last night was fucking legit but eventually you’re gonna have to shake off the post-sex haze and accept that there will be more opportunities for my dick.”

Something hot and wet touches your front and your eyes snap open to see him licking a long stripe up your stomach.

“Ew, Dave. Oh my God,” you groan out, trying to get out from where he’s pinned your hips to the sheets.

“Get up,” he says simply, mumbling the words sloppily against your skin. He plants a light kiss right above your navel.

“Not with this crappy wakeup call,” you joke, finding it in you to smile as his head dips up to place more kisses on your chest. He trails them up your collarbone and straight to your neck.

“Jade made breakfast,” he mumbles right below your ear in some mildly intimate gesture that comes across as silly more than anything. “Well, tried too. I think Rose has hijacked that freight train in effort to save it from running right off the scenic tourist trap known as sanity mountain. All the previously-screaming passengers have returned to their seats and are again enjoying the view, only slightly irritated about the ten minute delay. Jade in turn is now sitting at the counter grumbling about how easily the irridate option on the cookalizer in a small enough portion could be used for perfectly hardboiled eggs.” He pauses to lift his head from your body and look down at you, his eyes bright through his pale bangs. “Oh. But yeah. Mornin’.”

“Good morning,” you reply. “Good to know Dave Strider is still himself even at the crack of dawn. Seriously, dude. You could have just saved me some leftovers for when I got up.”

Dave snorted. “Like I said. It’s noon, dude. Jade was getting worried and Rose was even on the verge of agreeing with my extensive theory about our rad sexing skills making you go comatose.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Hey, love makes us crazy,” he grins, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips.

You can’t help but snicker against his mouth. “What an utterly cheesy line, asshole. You sure you haven’t been illegally torrenting Karkat’s troll romcoms? I’m pretty sure there are cross-universal laws against that kinda stuff.” 

“What can I say? I’d go straight back to Dersite jail if it meant I could swoon ya off your feet,” Dave grins.

“Back?”

“My dreamself had a run in with a set of stairs, a Derse guard, three pumpkins, and several of those pointy spire-things excessively placed on every goddamn building built there. Don’t remind me Egbert I get flashbacks. They only had network TV and someone tried to give me apple juice out of a goddamn juicebox."

You brought your hands up to lace lightly behind his head, tugging him back down towards you until your noses barely touched. “Always the romantic, Dave.”

“Only the romantic-est for you-“

“Ahem.”

You both quickly looked towards the bedroom door to see Rose leaning against the frame, her arms folded and mouth pulled tight. Dave froze, above you, a soft _fuck_ whispered just above his breath.

“I’m disappointed, Dave. Here I am paying you in pancakes to wake up our dear, exhausted friend, and what do I find? You trying to inveigle poor John into more sex,” Rose says, though she sounds oddly lighthearted.

“Easy on him this time, Rose. We were just talking,” you say as Dave climbs off of you. He’s got his eyes narrowed at his sister though.

“Please, talking-shmalking. Dave’s been desperate to get his dick wet since he woke up,” you hear a cheery voice pipe in as Jade peeks out from behind Rose.

“Can you two butt out? I’m trying to have a moment with my main bro, here,” Dave says.

“And maybe have sex?” Rose asks.

“And maybe have sex,” Dave repeats. “Which is all the more reason for you guys to fuck off.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Were we not invited to the weenie club? Which is for weenies?” Jade says in a mocking tone. 

“No, but you can be honorary members,” you say, giving them your best probably overly buck-toothed smile. You sit up in bed slightly, patting the space next to you. “Always room for more. It’s a guaranteed fact that all official members of the weenie club are exceptionally good with their weenies.”

“As unconditionally thrilling as such an experience sounds, I’ll pass,” Rose replies sternly. “I’m about to make pancakes. You should get dressed.”

“Later,” you state.

“ _John_ -“

“Please, Rose? Real quick. I didn’t get to make you come last night,” you say. Rose’s face remains impassive, but you notice Dave gives the slightest blush. 

“That’s because I beat you to the punch, John!” Jade exclaims, wrapping an arm around Rose’s waist and sliding her hand down the other girl’s hip. “One round, Rosie? What harm could that do?”

Rose looks towards her brother. “Strider?”

“You know I’m game,” he says.

“Well then. It appears I’m outvoted.” She carefully tucks a spare strand of blonde hair behind her ear, her face twisting into a light smile. “However, first one to come has to be on pancake griddle duty.”

You’re about to voice your objection by complaining that the last time a chore was used as a punishment in sex Rose had made you come in less than five minutes, but you’re forced to remind yourself that that wasn’t exactly an unpleasurable experience. Regardless, Jade is already planted in your lap while simultaneously struggling to take her shirt off, so you can’t really do anything but oblige in helping her. When she’s free she throws the garment off the side of the bed, her eyes excited as you slowly slide her glasses off and lean to place them on the nightstand. You return to face her and immediately get a mouthful of her tongue, making you give a small noise of surprise as she shoves you back against the headboard. Her lips are rough but taste like the signature brand of apple juice Dave insists on always keeping fully stocked up on. You carefully run your hands through her hair before bringing them down to cup her cheeks in a way that would seem innocent and middle-schoolish had she not already began to grind against you. Dave and Rose often joked that you two were a constant mess of uncomfortably sincere childishness and damn sexiness, but you supposed worse things could be said about your relationship.

“Mmm, missed you,” she mumbles when she finally pulls away. She has an incredibly satisfied expression plastered on her face.

“I was asleep for, like, eight hours. Show some self-control,” you laugh.

“Nope!” she exclaims, latching herself onto your neck this time. She’s much more enthusiastic than Dave when it comes to your known weak points, her teeth worrying the skin beneath your jawline and making you huff in a sharp inhalation of surprise. She licks the new mark in an insincere apology before moving onto another spot of untouched skin. While she’s busy you move to unclip her bra as best you can, letting it fall forward so you could grasp at her breasts. There’s a small sense of satisfaction that wells up within you as she hisses into your shoulder, stopping her ministrations briefly to remove the bra completely and let you fondle them a little more.

Jade traces her fingers down your bare skin to your cock, already exposed from you not even putting on so much as boxers from last night. Her long delicate fingers wrap around it with excitement, and she grins as you have to tilt your head back to take in a shaky breath.

“Fuck, Jade,” you pant. All you receive is a giggle in return as she ever so slowly starts to pump you. Jade's always been sharp, but her uncanny ability to perfectly remember your most sensitive spots never fails to catch you by surprise. 

“Mind if we join you two?” you hear Rose ask suddenly, and you manage to look over to the other side of you to see her scooting herself up against the headboard as well, her skirt and underwear already missing as Dave follows her and returns his head to its assumed previous placement between her legs.

“Join the party,” you reply, but it comes out far more exasperated than planned, making Jade give you a mocking look. You cup Jade’s chest a little more in reply, letting a finger rub against a nipple and relishing in the tiny squeak she makes.

“Glad to,” Rose smiles. You watch her thread her fingers through Dave’s hair, tugging ever so slightly on his head. He moves obediently closer to her, and the hushed, sloshy sound of his tongue against her makes your face grow hot. “A little higher, Dave,” she says. 

Dave in return lifts his head up to glare at her. “Yo, I know what I’m doing. Don’t patronize me. Shit’s uncool.”

“The most uncool thing here is you not knowing how to pleasure a very deserving lady,” Jade calls, and you whine a bit as she releases her grip on you in order to shove a disgruntled Dave out of the way. Dave looks at you and rolls his eyes, but both your breaths hitch as Jade ghosts her hands over Rose, opening her up with her thumbs and carefully licking up against the folds, stopping only once she’s over Rose’s clit. Rose lets out a breathy moan when she begins lapping against it. You reach out a hand to run over Rose’s cheek, finding it warm and smooth as she bucks up into Jade’s mouth.

“That’s—ah—that’s much better. Thank you, Jade,” she says, compasure still apparent, and you lean over to kiss her lips, finding them already flushed and bitten presumably by Dave. They’re soft though, and you almost lose yourself in the heat of the kiss if a sudden wet sensation against your dick didn’t cause an overly loud moan to mistakenly escape your lips.

Rose laughs at you.

“You _fucker_ ,” you yell exasperatedly, turning your attention back to your own erection. Dave shoots you a thumbs up from where he’s positioned his mouth tightly around your dick.

Jade’s laughter is hardly helping the situation as she shimmies up to be in kissing distance of Rose herself, giving Dave a fistbump as if this was all some silently orchestrated plan between two people who are really better at oral than they should be.

Dave’s mouth around you is intoxicating as he sucks sharply, making your teeth instinctively bite into your bottom lip to keep quiet. His tongue seems to know the perfect path to trace as it rolls over your overly sensitive skin, his thumbs tracing tight circles around your hipbones as you desperately try and buck up into the sweetness of his mouth. 

“Really, John. You shouldn’t let him get away with that,” Rose says sternly, and you glace over to see a now completely naked Jade sitting on her lap, Rose’s fingers already rubbing deep within her. “Dave can go do better. Can’t you, Strider?”

Rose extends her spare hand to clutch onto Dave’s hair, pulling him down onto you as Dave clenches his eyes shut.

“Oh, oh fuck—“ you gasp out as you Dave succeeds in taking you almost to the root, his nose barely grazing your body. You can’t help but grind your hips upward, Dave moaning around your length as Rose’s grip leaves him with nowhere to go.

The intense feeling leaves you more than overstimulated and you’re forced to bring a hand to your mouth in a weak attempt to stifle your groans of pleasure. Rose carefully moves is head back up, but he goes down again without being ordered, and the feeling spikes up within you once again. It's overwhelming to say the least as he works up a steady rhythm, Jade's moans next to you hardly helping the situation. It doesn't take long before you begin to feel a tightening sensation coming, but you hated to be this close yet.

“Dave. Fuck, Dave. I’m going to jizz already asshole,” you warn, but Dave only pulls back slightly, Rose allowing, and looks up at you with a cocked eyebrow.

“Come on,” you say, scrunching your face as another suck from him causes you to swerve closer to the brink. You try and push him backwards but he only moves down onto you. “You can’t be serious.“

Dave only gives a euphorically-vibrating hum that you could only assume would be a long, dawn out metaphor of affirmation if he hadn’t been so busy sucking you off. "That's not fair!" you yell. He takes you down again, almost stubbornly, and before you know it everything is whited out and you’re freely bucking into his mouth as you come with a heavy grunt.

“ _Fuck,_ ” you hiss as he pulls off of you, stuttering a little and wiping the excess off onto the back of his hand. He grins deviously at you, giving your softening cock a playful squeeze as he sits back on his knees with a laugh. 

“Quicky McEgbert strikes again,” he says with a sneer. “Guess you’re our personal chef for the morning. My pancake better be dick shaped or else, bro.”

“Oh shove it. Go back to dick sucking school or something,” you reply with a huff. Your cheeks burning.

“Already have. Master’s degree in fact. Graduated with honors, received a standing ovation by the student body and everything. Even got the diploma hanging in my room if you ever want to see it.”

Rose gives a very undignified snort as Jade is sent into yet another fit of giggles. Sex should not be as entertaining as it is for them.

“Hey John, switch me!” Jade says, “I want a turn with Mr. Professional here. He needs a reward for making you look like a total newb.”

“I am not a newb,” you reply indignantly.

“You are too a newb,” Jade croons.

“A total newb” Dave pipes in.

“The newbiest,” Rose finishes with a smile.

“Yeah, well, you three suck. Especially Dave,” you grumble, getting up so that Jade could shove Dave down in your place into what appeared to be an intense makeout session and excited ridding of Dave’s clothes as you turned your attention back to Rose.

“Still going to take me up on that offer to get me off?” she asks with a grin as you carefully move her down so that she can lay flat on the bed. Her short blond hair looks pretty splayed across the sheets and you take a deep breath before leaning your head down to mouth at her collarbone, kissing along it and up her neck, sucking the skin until she starts squirming.

“Of course,” you finally reply. “What kind of shitty gentleman would I be to go back on a promise?”

“I suppose an extremely shitty one,” she says, her voice pitching ever so slightly as your mouth traces down to her breasts where you give a light suck. “Fuck, John.”

You chuckle lightly, tracing her nipple with your tongue as you use the hand not supporting you to toy with her other breast. From the corner of your eye you can just make out your sister sliding down onto Dave’s cock, rolling her hips ever so slightly and causing both of them to moan. It’s tantalizing and hot and you stop your ministrations just to watch them. A stern hum sends your attention back to Rose, and you quickly bring a hand down to slip into her in apology. She's far wetter than her composition betrays, and you easily slide in. Your fingers trace the warmth rhythmically, occasionally slipping far enough out to rub against her clit. Rose gives soft gasps, but they’re heavily drowned out by Dave’s groans and Jade’s sharp, high-pitched moans. They’re calling each other’s names loudly when you push three fingers into Rose, who’s finding her own vocalizations unrestrained as her nails grip into your back and her hips thrust upwards against your hand. You can hear Dave and Jade’s steady huffing, the fact that they’re finished more than evident, but it’s all lost in your desperation to pleasure Rose. Your fingers slide in deep, and when you hold them there she squirms around them with a drawn out whine and the sweetest call of your name. 

“You’re so pretty, Rose,” Jade says, leaning over Rose’s face to kiss her. It’s sweet and sentimental and you make sure to angle your fingers into Rose’s sweetspot that you more than know by heart now, causing her to let out a vibrating moan against Jade’s lips. 

“Nice aim,” Dave says from behind you, resting against your back and kissing up and down your spine. The sensation makes you shiver and briefly stall in your thrusting, Rose yelling your name loudly the second you do. Dave stops when his breath is hot against the back of your neck, and he mouths against it softly. “Twist your fingers when you pull out. It’s her favorite.”

You nod and take his advice, turning your fingers around quickly as you exit her. Rose tightens up in response, exhaling a ragged breath.

“Fuck,” she says, “Fuck you Strider-“

As you thrust back into her you feel her give a final clench around your fingers, her body spasming as she thrusts intensely against you with a final burst of energy before collapsing back against the bed. Her breath comes in huffs as Jade kisses her again, and you lean over to plant a soft peck on her lips as well.

Her hands loosen around your back and you thud against the mattress next to her, Jade joining you on your other side and wrapping an arm fully around the two of you. Dave lays a little more quietly next to Rose, kissing her jaw and making her let out a very rare giggle that makes the other three of you smile.

“Better get to work on those pancakes, John,” Jade yawns. “’M hungry.”

“Give me a minute,” you say, letting your body calm down as you curled up against Rose.

“If you fall asleep on me I am not waking your ass up again,” Dave says, his voice sounding a little hoarse. 

“Five minutes,” you say.

“John you just got up,” Rose states, but her tone is teasing.

“Yeah but now I’m tired again. No thanks to you assholes.”

“Should I be flattered?” Dave asks, and you tilt your head up to roll your eyes at him.

“I propose one cuddle session and then John has to get his ass up and make breakfast,” Jade says, and you all voice some sort of mumbled agreement. You have an instinct to move closer to each other; arms and legs thrown over whatever body was closest. It’s nice. Like home and family and getting woken up all over again.

“Love you guys,” you murmur, your face now nestled in Rose’s hair. 

"Don't be a fucking sap, John." you hear Dave retort. "You know we love you too."


End file.
